Silent Pain
by Ryuuen Mills
Summary: Trunks is watching Goten get ready for a date and begins to think about how he feels about Goten and Goten's dating. Shounen ai content.


Silent Pain  
By: Cryptina Maxwell  
Fandom: Dragon Ball Z  
Romance/alternate universe  
No lemon or lime  
Shounen ai  
Pairing: Trunks/Goten sort of...o.o;  
Spoilers: None  
Rating: PG-13  
Archive: If you want, but ask me first.  
Feedback: Yes, please!  
Story blurb: Trunks is watching Goten get ready for a date and begins to think about how he feels about Goten's dating.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT or any other versions/variations/continuations of the shows or any of their characters.  
  
Warnings: Slash - Shounen ai, alternate universe, possible OOCness, Trunks' POV  
  
I gave a soft sigh as I watched him get ready for a date. Goten's always going out on dates with girls, it seems every night he's got a new girl to go with. I'm stuck helping him get ready.  
  
It's not that I don't like helping him get ready, he's my friend and I like helping him. Of course, I feel more for him than a friend should and the fact that I can watch him get undressed is a nice plus. But, I sort of feel guilty about that. I mean, I'm ogling my best friend and he doesn't seem to swing my way.  
  
So, yeah, most of the time I end up just WATCHING him get ready for a date, instead of actually helping him. He doesn't seem to mind and I don't think he really knows what I'm doing. Most of the time he just picks out some outfit or part of an outfit and shows it to me and asks me if it would be a good idea for him to wear it. Sometimes, I think it would be but I lie and say no just so that I can see him without anything, or at least without much, on.  
  
I know that's not right, but I can't help it. It's my only real chance. Well, besides the locker rooms at school, but I can't really WATCH him then. None of the guys are really stupid enough to try to pick a fight with me or Goten, but they can still make our lives miserable. And, the last thing Goten needs is for me to ruin his social life, and love life, by ogling him in the boy's locker rooms at school.   
  
I mean, once a girl thinks your gay, that's it, all the girls in the entire world find out. Or at least it seems that way. Even if it isn't true, it doesn't matter, if a girl thinks it is, then you're ruined. And, if Goten's really straight, and he hasn't given me or anybody else any reason to think otherwise, then the LAST thing he needs is for all the girls to snub his efforts to ask them out and for all the gay guys to come out of the woodwork and start asking him out.  
  
I know for a fact that there are plenty of guys are attracted to Goten. And, I'm glad that they all think he's straight to. Not that I'm saying that I think he's not. But, I wouldn't like it very much if they started hitting on Goten. And, the last thing the school, or anybody for that matter, needs is for me to get mad at guys that hit on Goten. I just know that somebody would have to be strong enough to pull me back before I killed them.  
  
Maybe, it's better that he's dating these girls. It saves a lot of lives that way. I don't feel compelled to beat the shit out of the girls. Then again, sometimes I do feel the need to do something nasty to them, or just be downright mean to them when I meet them. And, I think some of them are wise to the fact that I like Goten. They aren't too nice to me, either. Which is usually when I start to say nasty things to them.  
  
Once in awhile that gets Goten angry. I remember once we got into an argument when his girlfriend went to the bathroom to "freshen up" before they left the house. I hadn't been too nice to her and Goten started in on that as soon as the girl had disappeared into the bathroom. I almost told him that I liked him and that's why I was so mean to that girl. Instead I just told him that she was going to go out with him once and then pretend she didn't know him. Which did, coincidentally, end up happening. Which just might be why Goten never bothers keeping a girlfriend for more than one date. If he does, that means he's pretty serious about her and willing to let himself get hurt.  
  
As corny and melodramatic as it sounds, I hurt when Goten hurts. And, I don't like to see him put himself in a position in which he can get hurt. I don't like it when somebody hurts him. For a long time, I just wondered what the Hell was wrong with me. I was picturing Goten in ways that best friends just SHOULDN'T picture their friends, and I got mad at every date Goten went out with and the kicker was when I almost started crying when Goten got dumped that first time. I wanted to go and put holes in the wall or something. I'm not a crying sort of person. It doesn't do any good, anyway. And, in truth, I didn't cry that time. But, I almost did. It was just that Goten was so upset...  
  
But, I can hide that sort of thing better now. I've enough practice, anyway. I don't like the fact that Goten feels he has to dump every girl after one date, just because he doesn't want to get hurt. It shouldn't have to be that way. I mean, he denies that that's why he does it, but I know that's why.  
  
I know that if I told anybody about the way I feel about Goten, most likely they'd tell me to go for it and tell him how I feel, but I don't want to. That could change everything, and maybe not for the better. I mean, he could get mad, or he could just feel uncomfortable around me if he doesn't feel the same way. And, if he feels uncomfortable around me he might not want to be around me anymore. And, if that's the way it would end up, I know I'd avoid him just because I knew he wouldn't want to be around me.  
  
I figure that he isn't the type to get mad at me just because of the way I feel, but he could still be uncomfortable about it. And, well...I just don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me.   
  
Some people may not realize it, but I have feelings to. Just like anybody else. I may not show every single one the same way most people do, and I might keep most of them to myself, but I do have feelings.   
  
Yeah, I know. I'm being pathetic and melodramatic. But, it sort of a silent pain that I'm making myself suffer. I suppose I could just tell him how I feel and get it over with, but I don't want to destroy what we already have. A great friendship. So, I'll just continue to suffer until he gives some sort of sign, either intentional or unintentional, that he might want me to be more than just a friend. That way, I'll have less of a chance of screwing up the friendship we already have.  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
